I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
