so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Of course I have a pirate flag
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
