Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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