I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
