halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
