I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
