I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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