Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
