Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I can't put those talents on a resume
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
