everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
