that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
