seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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