Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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