can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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