So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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