i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
P.S. I can't hear my feet
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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