Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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