If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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