I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
