I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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