U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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