so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
