used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
