This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
