Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
