Best friends brother. Beat that.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
