WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
