Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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