my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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