I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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