I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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