no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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