next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
