I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We need to get me chipped asap
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