The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
