I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
