He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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