I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
