when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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