I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
