im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
