i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
