I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
