You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
