I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
