i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
