I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
