Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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