I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Terrible idea I love it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
