You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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